Newbie With Questions

Hello, everyone,

I have been reading posts for some time, but I have never posted.  My father and step mother live w/my husband and myself. They have their own living room, bedroom and bath on one side of the house. My dad is 83, and my step-mom is 76.  My step-mom's mother had Alzheimers.  Grandma was a sweet, sweet woman who went from being a peacemaker to a reclusive person who became easily irritated and somewhat hostile.

I'm afraid my step-mom has AD. My dad is still mentally sharp.  His issues are more physical.  He told me a year ago that mom might have AD, but we had to be extra careful around her now because she is "sensitive".  He says he can't make her go to the doctor for a diagnosis.

I hesitate to say this, but it is hard to distinguish between what might be AD and what is just her personality.  She has never been a people person and is an abrupt communciator.

Here is an example of something I found rather bizarre.  I would like to know what you all think about this.

I mowed the yard...we live in the country, so I mow about five acres...on a riding lawn mower and some grass ended up on this old dog house that she built years ago for some stray that showed up.  It hasn't been used since, but we dare not throw it out.  Mom was really ticked off. She was not happy at all that I got grass on her dog house.  I saw her go out to the barnyard with a bucket of water and a cloth.  She actually washed the grass off that old dog house.  She was angry at me about it and was not very friedly for days.  Isn't that sort of strage behaivor, even for someone who has always been a little different???

Mom has always been sort of nosey, but she is getting worse, I think. And she goes out into the garage, or the basement and moves things all around.  She moves my husband's tools and then he can't find anything.  She goes through my cabinets and rearranges my baking goods, etc.

She doesn't do much real cooking anymore.  During the week they eat leftovers, TV dinners, pizza and soup.  They go to the Senior Center twice a week for lunch, so that is real food.  I cook at lot on the weekends, so they eat with us.

Mom also seems to not understand conversations anymore.  She just doesn't seem to be able to grasp the main part of the conversations going on around her. She can't think of the right words to use either.

Does this sound like a possible problem, or am I just overreacting?

Thank you so much for your input.

V

I agree with Snowy. She needs to get to the doctor. Trick her if you have to but if she has dementia, they have medications that can slow down the progression. Forgetting words and moving things are usually the first indications of a dementia forming.

I wonder if you can arrange with a doctor ahead of time to pretend you are the patient describing what your husband says you do (which is really your step mother) and have her come with you. Say you need someone with you cuz you dont know if you can remember what they say.

Thank you all for your replies. I came back to this board today, because I think Mom is getting worse. I ususally cook most, if not all, meals on the weekend. Dad wanted minute steaks for lunch today, so she had some and said she would cook lunch. That was a mistake. She can't seem to coordinate cooking more than one thing at once. We came home from church and she had not started the vegetables which take 30 minutes to steam, but the meat was already done. I walked by the oven and found it on broil. She thought she had turned it off. I have an appointment next month w/my doctor which is also her doctor. I think it is time I talk to the doctor about this. Mom sees her from time to time. I know this may be hard to believe, but I cannot make Mom do anything. She is very stubborn and gets very angry if I try to tell her anything. Then that upsets my dad who is 83 and doesn't need his blood pressure to go any higher. I guess I will start w/a talk with the doctor and hopefully she will be able to help me with advice, etc. I don't know where else to start. I have had a lot of health issues myself this year. I have chronic pain and I finally gave in and started taking the pain meds prescribed by my rheumatologist. They are helping a lot, which is great. I was barely able to function before I started taking the medication. Mom, on the other hand, has some arthritis, but she has more energy than I do. So, so strange.

Thank you all again. You are very helpful, and kind, and I so appreciate your input.

V

Yes, it is a painful, confusing situation. I just want to do the best I can to help the situation as much as possible. I think they both know that there is definitely something going on now. Mom was getting really hateful at times. She is now making an obvious concerted effort to be easier to get along with. And, they are both being nicer to my husband and myself. One day at a time.

Blessings,
V