The start of Alzheimers or dementia?

I'm not expecting anyone to diagnose my best friend of 50 years, just looking for some advice. We are both 67 years old.

Sue is one of the kindest and most generous persons you could ever know...she would give you the shirt off her back and some people and relatives have taken advantage of that for years. She has always been a very vivacious, intelligent and friendly person but was also always insecure, especially around people she perceived as being "better" than her and was always afraid someone would get "mad" at her if she did something like try to return an item to the store. Over the past couple of years that insecurity has gotten worse, to the point where if she has to go to an event where one of these "better" people might be, she obsesses for days over what she will wear, buys many outfits til she finds the right one and has terrible anxiety until the event is over. A couple of years ago when everyone was buying fancier cell phones she decided to buy one of the androids because I guess she wanted to feel like she was keeping up with everyone else. She has had it two years now and still can't remember how to use it properly. It has actually become another obsession to her...it's all she talks about, asks the same questions about how to use it over and and over, most the time can't figure out how to even answer it. It's all she ever focuses on and it's driving her family and friends crazy. She refuses to give it up even when we suggest something easier. She also gets very confused over other things, forgets things very quickly and easily and has a hard time finding her way around when she, I and our 7 other girlfriends get a cottage each summer...takes her days to get used to where different rooms are etc. If you just met her you might not notice anything because she "covers' for things by laughing them off and oftentimes she can even hold a very normal conversation, explaining something she did the previous day in great detail. I know this all might sound minor but if you were with her all the time, you would KNOW there was definitely something very wrong. Her family is NOT supportive and oftentimes mock her forgetfulness. We women who have been friends (more like sisters) for these 50 years want to be there for her and wonder what we can do. She knows that her family wants her to be tested for Alzheimers but of course she is very afraid of that at this point....it's not like her mind is totally gone but things ARE slowly starting to deteriorate. Plus she has macular degeneration so her eyesight is getting worse, which doesn't help the phone thing either. She has always driven everywhere and still insists on driving but I don't know how long that will be safe (if it even is now because she can't see signs). I have heard that people with Alzheimers oftentimes start by "obsessing or focusing" on a certain thing and that darn phone is definitely it. She sits by the hour just touching things on the screen, not knowing what's going to happen and usually gets completely frustrated when she can't figure them out. She must call me 1-4 times a day, usually to ask me some question about the phone (we're talking TWO years now!) so I know she's sitting at home just playing with it. It's definitely getting on her family's nerves and mine to be honest. I try to tell her to get rid of it and get something simple and she says she will but never does...just laughs it off. What is going on with my dear friend and do you have any suggestions?

Another familiar story...the obsessing over things....mine is the new patio funiture we bought....every single day, he's adding to it, over and over to the point of just forgeting about barbequing the 4th of July. I don't have the stomach for this new care he's gonna need. I've been through a heart attack, cancer, colon removal, with my husband and now that he's turned violent on me, I'm just over this life of care giving. I'm just sooo lost and so furstrated....one minute all is okay and now, I'm married to a guy that has turned violent and made me public enemy number one....27 years with this guy and now, if he could, he could kill me and I'm suppose to blame all this on AZ???

andwes, it is wonderful that you have kept these friends all these years. I have a few myself. It is obviously that Sue does need some kind of doctor's exam. You cannot help her, so her daughter would be the one to take action. You can tell her daughter this situation upsets you because you love and value her friendship so much. If some of the other ladies have similar feelings about Sue, maybe they can share them?

I believe family members are initially in denial. You have mentioned your concerns. All you can do now is be supportive. Maybe ask the daughter if she'd do some research. I highly recommend that the daughter go on the next doctor's visit. I know it's so difficult to fear losing such a valuable friendship. Something is going on; maybe it's another medical problem that can be easily treated. I hope so! Much blessings...

I worry about myself with the stress I've been under I am forgetting things. I will put
something down and can't find it. Also I put away some Christmas presents a couple
of weeks ago so DD couldn't find them when she comes home for a visit, for the life of
me I can't remember where.

I am almost 70 and thinking of getting tested for alzheimers and praying its just from the
caregiver burnout I have.