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Haven't taken Xanax in almost a month..

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Posted 10/22/2014 10:11 AM (GMT -5)
... And today is the first day I've felt I needed one & I'm hesitating for some reason bc I know they help! I've got some anxiety about traveling today. My dogs & I are hitting the road to go to my moms for 2 nights. I love going but sometimes the drive provokes anxiety (but I go anyway).

Not sure why it's affecting me today, I suppose it doesn't really matter but I'm anal & want answers lol. I haven't even showered today or walked- 2 things that help me and here I lay in bed, on my phone, while anxiety is brewing.

My friend just texted me "I'm a lifer, Xanax thug 4 life yo! Showers help but nipping it will help it too!" Our humor (she struggles with all the same stuff we do but she has no fear or hang ups about taking meds). I on the other hand, am fine with antidepressants but feel defeated sometimes when I have to take a Xanax, especially since I've gone a month w/out it.

Thanks for listening to my vent! It sure helps typing it out knowing I have the support & understanding here!♥️

Sending love-
Lisa
Posted 10/22/2014 10:26 AM (GMT -5)
Hi Lisa

Sorry to hear you are having some higher anxiety at the moment it sounds like you are having pre anxiety about your trip to see your Mum. I would say that although you have not taken one for a month it's ok to do so and don't feel bad about it as it's just one step you can use to get your anxiety back down to a reasonable level. Anxiety can work in strange ways and pop out of nowhere so try and live in the moment the best you can and do keep posting here we are here to support you.

Hibee
Posted 10/22/2014 10:33 AM (GMT -5)
Awww Lisa! Don't make yourself suffer! If you need to take that one little pill to help you get through the day, then take it. That's what they're there for.

We all need a crutch to lean on every now and then. It gets tough battling your own body sometimes. sad

I don't want to sound like a "drug pusher", but if you need it, there's no shame in taking one.

I'm like your friend.... I'm "a lifer" too! I take them every day, because if I didn't, I wouldn't even leave my house! turn

Don't feel bad because you need a little help sometimes!

Sending many hugs!
Fox
Posted 10/22/2014 11:07 AM (GMT -5)
Haha! Your friend is funny! :) It's great that you haven't had to take one in a while, but like Fox said, that's what they are there for! It is anxiety producing to take a trip. It is for me at least. I'd take one so you can get moving and go enjoy your visit. Safe travels! Hugs!
Posted 10/22/2014 11:59 AM (GMT -5)
I can so relate. I always try to save them for when I absolutely cannot take it anymore. Even then I feel guilty or like I'm not handling it by taking the xanax. I know that there is no reason to feel that way but I still do. I say take it and allow yourself to enjoy your trip a little more instead of having to deal with the excessive anxiety.
Posted 10/22/2014 12:07 PM (GMT -5)
Lisa

Be kind to yourself. And always do what feels right for you. My very personal and very subjective thoughts on the matter are thusly: You've gone a month without. Good for you, and that's terrific! If you need to take Xanax every now and again, that never, ever undoes that one month you went w/o.

It also is *not* stepping back. You're still moving forward. Even the strongest of us need help every now and again.

It's okay. If you decide you need to or want to, give yourself permission w/o feeling guilty. On the other hand, if you choose to ride it out, then do so again w/o feeling guilty. Perhaps bring it with you for a back-up just-in-case kind of moment?





M.
Posted 10/22/2014 12:10 PM (GMT -5)
WOW! That's great! Whatever you decide, be proud of your accomplishment!
jl
Posted 10/22/2014 12:22 PM (GMT -5)
Thank-you friends, so much!

I haven't taken one yet- but if I need to, I will and I'll say nice things to myself. Good reminder it doesn't mean it's a step back or takes away from the month off of them. (I'd taken one .25 daily & sometimes 2, for 6 months. Prior to this year, I'd maybe only ever taken 30 xanax in my whole life! I've always been able to ride it out (or avoid anxiety provoking situations lol). That goes without saying I've carried xanax in my purse for 15-20 years?! They always turned to dust! tongue I don't leave home without them.

I showered & packed my bag. Now I just need to get my rear end moving.

I long for happy & consistent moods soon. I know many of us have been on a roller coaster this year and I'm getting ready to fire the carnie who isn't letting us off turn

Love you guys!
Lisa
Posted 10/22/2014 12:23 PM (GMT -5)
Haha! When I find that carnie, I'm firing him/her too!
Posted 10/22/2014 12:30 PM (GMT -5)
Lisa,

You are doing awesome!! And I truely understand your situation. I was on xanax all summer and started tappering in August. I have only taken 3 this month, and when I do, it's a .125 (like that even does anything). I totally understand the defeatist attitude when you feel like you have to take one. Why do we use our xanax use as a measuring device to our mental health?!?! I've seen that on here more than once. I tell myself, if I need one, I'm not going to get mad about it. Then the time comes where I feel like I should take one and I get mad at myself. What the heck?
Please, have a great day! And a great trip!
Posted 10/22/2014 1:08 PM (GMT -5)
Lisa,

You got some great support from everyone! I admire your will power for carrying the xanax with you in your purse for so long! If that was me, those little suckers would had been gone along time ago!

My wife, is like you - she is very responsible and has a ton of self control. I, on the other hand, don't know when "enough is enough" sometimes. That why I, unfortunately, cannot take xanax - even though I probably need them :(

Like, Merrida said - this is YOUR decision. If you truly think you need one, then take one! That's why you have them!

As always, I want to offer you my support and encouragement!

Your friend

Cornell
Posted 10/22/2014 2:25 PM (GMT -5)
L.S.,

Do what feels right for you.:) It seems that when we are at a crossroads in our situations...there are opportunities for learning...

You may learn that you can take a step on your own, and get farther than you thought you could...

Or you may learn that it is okay to employ the tools that are available for challenging occasions.

Only you can make this decision, and you will know what to do when it comes time.:)

Have a wonderful trip...peace, joy and safety be yours.:)

S.C.
Posted 10/22/2014 2:54 PM (GMT -5)
Thank your all! Lesson learned, when in doubt, employ your coping skills even if that's a PRN xanax!! Which I did. Mid trip LOL.

I've no idea where this anxiety came from. It was dammed if I do and dammed if I dont. If I stayed home, I would have been upset too so off I went.

I'm not gonna lie, I almost turned around but instead I just bawled and prayed out loud. And took a Xanax, swallowed with my spit (LOLOL), and chewed off a fingernail. BUT- I made it.

I have anxiety hangover- still a bit rattled but mom & I are running errands and she made me pause before we left to pray for me. She asked God to take my anxiety and throw it out the window and replace it with joy. Couldn't ask for a kinder prayer. Of course I bawled again 😆

Thanks again everyone. Love you all!
Lisa
Posted 10/22/2014 3:05 PM (GMT -5)
Awww...you are in good hands now!!!

GREAT job on getting there!!!  ***Whoot Whoot***

Give mom a big hug from us!!

Have a wonderful visit...and let us know how it all went when you get back!

S.C.

Posted 10/22/2014 3:20 PM (GMT -5)
A mother that prays for her children is the pure and honest definition of an "Angel"!
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