Single Dad Worried About Kids

I just signed up for the forum just to reach out to anyone who might understand. I have great friends but there's no way for them to really get what I'm going through almost daily.

My wife struggled with bi-polar II disorder and ended up taking her own life about 6 years ago. It's worth mentioning that her mother and her two brothers all took their own lives as well. So, there is what seems to be a pretty strong genetic connection.

Once she passed away I obviously took my step-son (18 at the time) and my daughter (11 at the time) full time. My son has since graduated college and seems to be doing OK, he has a good relationship with his fiancé and is well liked at work. He struggles with depression sometimes but won't seek help because it usually only lasts a couple of days.

My daughter went through a hard time and ended up going a little wild during her freshman year in high school. She used to cut herself and said more than once that she wanted to die. As you can imagine this scared the hell out of me and I just did my best to be there for her while maintaining my job and household at the same time. She has since improved drastically; I asked her what had changed and she just said "Life sucked and I wanted to die but that wasn't really an option because I knew it would hurt you too bad. So, I started teaching myself how to deal with it and it seems to work most of the time." She read a book called the Power of Now that she says changed her life. And she takes an anti-depressant and anti-anxiety drug.

My concern is that she doesn't have friends and doesn't seem too worried about it. She's dating a boy that I'm pretty sure she just keeps around because she doesn't really have anyone else to do anything with. I try not to pester her too much about the friend thing and she says she hopes to make a few friends once she starts working and goes to college.

I try not to worry but a lot of times I really struggle to not get anxiety when I think about the future. I worry myself sick that once she's out on her own that she might start feeling suicidal again. I just want my kids to be happy..................suicide leaves a nasty nasty trail of destruction


sorry if I rambled

Hi
I am glad you reached out for some support and comfort regarding your worry and anxiety. This forum is a great place for that.
You have done an amazing job with your step son and daughter when they had to go through such a traumatic event in their lives... And the past 6 years too. You have been there for them but what about you.

Your strength and love shines through in your post ... Try to take some you time give yourself some TLC and R and R... Without a doubt your children know you are there for them , just continue with the love and support but look after yourself too.

Gill

Hi 1worrieddad i also suggest you go seek family therapy, you might think you have got it under control , but that's not an easy job, so sorry about your wife and her family. Welcome to our family, please keep us posted.