Hi Missw65 and welcome!
First of all, I want to say how sorry I am to hear of your losses. The way in which your child is especially heartbreaking and triggering. I can't imagine how difficult that must have been...and my mother's heart reaches out toward yours!
Problems being in a car/driving are not unusual, so I am sure you will be hearing from others with similar challenges. I have had the occasional isolated attack in a car, but it is not my primary struggle...my triggers are elsewhere...but I still understand the feelings you describe!
What is anything have you done thus far to get help? Have you talked to your doctor about
the usual treatment options of medication and/or therapy?
If not, I urge you to do so, as they can bring about
much healing and progress forward.
For now, please see our Resources at the top of the main forum page for great self help material that you can get started on right away. There are links for general anxiety management and also those for taming panic attacks. Practicing these daily will make a difference in how you feel.
Keep posting with us as well if you find it helpful! We care, understand and support is key.
Talk soon,
Scaredy Cat