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Posted 11/23/2018 10:52 PM (GMT -5)
As I've told you my plant is closing and I'm out of a job early Dec
My family depends on me as the majority bread winner & provider of health benefits
Haven't been able to bring myself to post
Have had opportunities presented to me but they are undesirable
Feel guilty about that
Home life is bad
Having self esteem issues resulting
Feel like giving up
I feel like I can't deal with the changes I face
Can't sleep without 2 Advil PM
Gaining weight yet eating and drinking less ***
BP out of control- 2nd med increase....
maybe this is really a post for the depression forum but the anxiety runs hand and hand
Taking Buspar but keep forgetting my evening dose
Worked hard and suffering physical pain because of -but I pulled off a fantastic Thanksgiving & Black Friday because some adult children had to go to in laws on Thanksgiving
My new grandbaby is the ray of sunshine in my life
You know I never wanted a career- would be completely content to have been a mom and grandmom.....
Posted 11/25/2018 12:11 AM (GMT -5)
I hear ya weary. Please post but I get it. Just know this little turtle is sending strength. No give up. Always in me thoughts U are. Together we fight on. HT
Posted 11/25/2018 8:47 AM (GMT -5)
Try to keep alarm on phone for buspar so it can help .

Yes I hear you as not working currently,how you feel.

Try to control sleep by getting some prescription for it.Advil pm is going to stop working after a while.

See if you qualify for Unemployment benefits or COBRA in the meantime.

Good luck dear!!
Posted 11/25/2018 1:25 PM (GMT -5)
WRAS,

Sending love and engagement theough this change. Transitions are difficult! Be patient with yourself and the process.

Use your coping skills and keep talking with us friend.

S.C.
Posted 11/25/2018 9:00 PM (GMT -5)
I've been off from work for 5 days.
I'm so happy to go back tomorrow! I don't know what I'll do when I don't have a job to go to.
HT- thanks and you are in my thoughts daily too. Keep me posted on your life.
Cilly- great idea setting the alarm to take my Buspar-thanks!
SC- thanks for your ongoing support.
Had an email from my old boss- he validated my feelings about the opportunities I've been given are not right for me. He says knowing me as long as he has he knows I wouldn't be happy. My dad died 17 years ago and he was my trusted go to. I began working with my old boss shortly after and have always respected his advice.
Off to bed- 2 advil pms in tow
Posted 11/27/2018 8:50 PM (GMT -5)
Had two bad nights of sleep with wakefulness and nightmares, felt depressed and angry
Today got a call about an exciting position-but its quite a drive and I'm a very local driver(one of the opportunities I mentioned)
So I committed to taking a drive out to see how it is and will meet with them Thursday
So scared-I get lost even with GPS
I'm directionally challenged
Feel on an incline-hope I don't come crashing down
Posted 11/27/2018 11:14 PM (GMT -5)
Maybe print out a paper map in case there is no signal?
Posted 11/28/2018 11:41 AM (GMT -5)
WRAS,

Best wishes with the drive...you can do it! Draw deep and put your tools to work, you are strong in them!

Hoping it is a good fit...and perhaps the perfect opportunity for you...

Keep us updated.

S.C.
Posted 11/29/2018 5:29 AM (GMT -5)
U got me shield for protection and strength. Keep strong. HT.
Posted 11/29/2018 8:41 PM (GMT -5)
Hey all- thanks for your support
So....husband drove me today-drive was undesirable but only hairy for 2 short periods
Went in and interviewed and was introduced to the office.
People are nice and position interesting
Bought some more time for answering
Going to make another trip with husband driving to get the route down pat (got slightly lost today) and then going to do my own run during rush hr. to see if I can hack it
I realize sometimes we have to stretch ourselves as uncomfortable as it feels
If I can overcome this driving fear I will feel empowered
Posted 12/2/2018 6:45 PM (GMT -5)
WRAS,

You can do it! You are going about it the right way...gradual exposure and practice...well done!

When will you know if you got the job? Fingers crossed and positive thoughts!!!

S.C.
Posted 12/2/2018 9:10 PM (GMT -5)
Hey SC

I was pretty much told that the ball is in my court- I have 2 weeks to give my answer
Husband reneged on taking the drive and is little by little making himself obsolete in my life
Thurs. is my last day at current job- very sad
I'll do two more drives on my own- put my resume out there on all the reputable websites to see what that might bring

Wishing so much for normalcy- its been so long
Thinking back to this time last year when I was waiting for the shoe to drop with my mom- just waiting for that phone call that it was time to come and help her with her journey to the after world....

Have been on edge forever

What is peace?
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