Question about anxiety and rebuilding confidence

Happy New Year!

I’ve been on the forums for a few years but new to Anxiety so this is my first post here. I had what I believe to be something like a nervous breakdown and I’m effectively trying to rebuild my life. Currently, though, my social anxiety levels are so high that anxiety shows on my face and demeanour. Either I come across very insecure or just stay quiet. I have lots of moments when I do very well and I’m able to come across well like I used to but right now, I have more bad moments than good ones.

Because of my current awkwardness, I’m finding a lot of social rejection as naturally, insecurity makes others feel uncomfortable. ‘Softness’ or the appearance of feebleness can sometimes be endearing if you’re female but as a male it causes others to either distrust what you’re saying or to see you as weak or crazy.

I wonder if anyone has been through this journey themselves and remembering back, can tell me what you’ve learned to get back connecting to others well again. I’ve thought about working with a speech therapist or body language/communications expert to role play scenarios so I can practice in a safe environment, cleaning up my nervous energy so I can come across well enough again to be a bit better accepted. I feel like if I get a few successes under my belt, I should be able to build that confidence back more quickly. There’s also a social anxiety Meet-up in my area so I’m going to try that.

Any suggestions or things you think might help?

Hey tbohl

I’m creative, I can sing in tune, I used to do some amateur dramatics, I can down six whiskeys and act sober ; )

Haha! Kevin... I can relate, I've also noticed if you work on a hobby or project, sometimes that builds confidence

THANKS SCAREDY CAT - I have to say, I don't think its in my head... the way I come across at the moment, when I talk I look kind of angry or as though I'm about to cry. In reality, I can feel really good on the inside but it's like my face doesn't radiate those positive vibes anymore and I look sad, angry and dare I say a little deranged. I've also noticed that cognitively, words don't come as easily as they did previously whereas before I was always chatty because I always had something to say... and I was pretty eloquent.

Can anxiety really make you so backwards? I've booked an appointment with my GP to make sure there isn't an underlying physical condition - one of my symptoms is that my lips feel really stiff and don't always move as fast as my speech.

PURPLE DRAGON - Good idea, what did you volunteer as? I've always liked dogs, maybe I could some hours it at my local dogs home or something.

KW,

Were you able to find any self help books for social anxiety/speaking confidently/body language? Le me know if you need any help with any resources...I'd be glad to help.

...and yes, I do of course echo the idea of volunteering as a positive step towards anxiety management and confidence...(*she says as she writes her 28,387 post* Lol!)

S.C.

Okay, the first thing I think you should go through is our Resources at the top of the main forum page here. It is filled with great material for general anxiety management. The Stress Relieving Exercises, Therapy Worksheets and Meditations will all be of value to you I am sure.

Meanwhile, I will look up some book recommendations specifically on confidence and help for social anxiety.

...and yes, our anxiety does manifest physically...even in our appearance sometimes. My husband says I furrow my brow a lot...and I find myself pressing my lips together when stresses...which I am sure in combination makes for a pretty unfriendly look, lol!

The more you practice your anxiety management coping skills...the less this will be an issue.

Talk soon,

S.C.

https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-ways-to-overcome-shyness-and-social-anxiety/
https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/fear-of-talking
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-files/201410/how-overcome-your-social-anxiety

Here's a few articles/self help sites to get you started. Once you've gone through them, and target your most needed areas of help and what you want to focus on...you will want to search Amazon (or similar site) for books/downloads for working on your specific goals.

Keep us updated!

S.C.

Very good...and YWC! Keep us updated as to how you are getting on.

S.C.