Anxiety soaring

Hi WearyRA,
Your post is just heartbreaking. I have read your messages and I know how horrible your last few years have been. All of life has a way of just beating us down. I think us older folks seem to know this much better than the younger generation. When we are younger we have more fight in us and are able to bounce back quicker. I know for myself I just don't have that ability any longer.

Losing a child is such a terrible loss. It is unnatural for a parent to outlive their child. I grieve for you. I will certainly say a prayer for you.

As for your new job--I know starting anything new is hard. I have gone through this many times myself. I have had sleepless nights before just changing locations within the same company. Those of us who suffer anxiety know how hard new things can be. It also sounds as if the person who is training you really is not interested in doing this. People can be so mean and unhelpful.

I know this will be hard but please try to relax. I know its easier said than done. I am retired and so thankful I don't have to deal with stressful work and people who are only out to make themselves look better at the expense of others.

Lastly I know how you feel about taking your meds namely Xanax. I used to be the same way about my pain meds. I didn't want to become addicted. I hated the stigma attached to taking opiates. My own family would look down on me. In the end I took the meds and they have helped me so much. I will continue to take whatever will help me cope with life and take my chronic pain away. We are the ones living in our bodies. Please do what will make you feel better about yourself.

My prayers and thoughts are with you. Bless you.

Hi Weary,

I am sorry you are having a difficult time. Maybe try slowing down the mind to take the pressure off. Focus on one thing at a time. I am sure things will be better for you.

It's a new year, changes happen. Keep your spirits up.

Remember it takes time to get in the groove of things.

Thinking of you,

Blessings for a good 2021.

Hugs, Karen...

Being UNDERSTOOD and having people that will pray for me or send positive, healing thoughts my way means the world to me! Thank you all.
So...with your helpful responses which helped soothe my nerves I decided I needed to come up with a way to keep up.
I prayed for help.
I started taking Prevagen (LOL- what the heck it's worth a try-but expensive)
I did some self- talks about why I really had a pass given the circumstances but committed to try and prevent any mistakes with checking, double checking, triple checking or possibly asking my co worker to proof my work.
I told myself- you can do this. You got this.
My night was somewhat restless but I've had worse.
Before work I was still a bit edgy so I took 1/2 of a xanax
First I re-checked my work- found one error and corrected it.
Emailed my trainer- asked if there was anything he needed me to do. Sent him a spreadsheet that would help him with his work,
Didn't have too much to do so I felt safe.
Just so happens- people who have been there forever made errors today that everyone was aware of. It was like a sign- let up on yourself.
I still welcome the prayers and positive thoughts!