Leary of feeling better

I am also always on my guard when it comes to feeling better. You never know with this panic disorder thing..It sucks to feel good and then have a jolt of anxiety hit you. If you're always in that state (it sucks too) but at least you're used to it.    

Hi Suzy,

I have been scared to feel better. This summer I was suffering from anxiety everyday. My anxiety became so constant that if I had just a moment of peace I would worry now what is wrong with me. It’s strange I know because I truly wanted to feel better but I was used to the constant anxiety. Well after being put on Celexa I started to feel better and the anxiety was down. At first it was strange and then after a few days I was relieved. Well as it goes my anxiety did come back I would say it hasn't been as bad as this summer but it's there. I think with medication we will still have our moments of anxiety it just isn't so constant and that’s where we have to find other tools to cope with the anxiety.

hugs,
Georgia

I know how you all feel but I have learned that even thou the bad will come back I'm going to enjoy the good while it last. It may ba for a day it may be for a week but I'm going to take full advantage of it.

Hope you all have a good day soon.

I'm pretty much living day by day, taking them each as they come. I'm trying to not think to far ahead into the future, that's usually what gets me into the most trouble.
I've been doing alot of sleeping in the evenings, I don't know if it because I'm tired from my job, or just trying to keep my anxiety away. I sleep for a few hours in my chair, then get up and get a few things done before going to bed.
I have started writing my thoughts in a journal, hopefully I can keep on doing that.

I'm sitting here getting myself all worked up again. I keep finding myself reading anything I can on the company my husband works for, pretty much waiting for the big shoe to drop and for all my worries to come true. I can feel myself thinking about "ways out" and I need to refocus again. Guess I'll get off of here and go get ready for work.

I know some, if not alot, of my problem is how we lived when I was a kid. We had times where we had plenty of money, and times where we were living without power or heat. Or getting evicted from our home and having to live with friends or family. Or we would be sent to our Grandparents for Christmas because my parents couldn't afford to get us anything. The list goes on.
I am scared of having to live that way and don't want to put my kids through it. The thought of my husband loosing his job terrifies me to no end and I think about us loosing our home, our lives, ect.
I don't know how to fix that, cuz it's always a real possibilty. I just can't stand the thought of it and that is where my anxiety and depression come in.
Thanks for the support Maree.

I've been marred almost 19 years and this is the first time I've had to really deal with all of this. I have always been able to be more positive about things and how they may work out. Now it's all different, I can't seem to think of the positive or the "it will all be ok". For the past three months or so, it's just been how bad it could be.
I know that I'm just borrowing this trouble, because it could all be ok, but for some reason I can't seem to accept that. I just don't believe that it will be ok, all I think is that we will loose our house, have to declare bankruptcy, loose our belongings...ect...and have to move away and live with family. I just don't want to deal with that.
We have been happy where we are for awhile now and I just don't want to loose that, but I know the time is coming.
I need a really big box for those memories, fears and anxietys.
Suzy

Hi Suzy, do you scrapbook? It might be fun to scrap-book during this time to focus on the good times and the good memories that you have. I think it would at least temporarily take your mind off of the pending doom feelings. Maybe while you're doing it you will recall other times that you went through and see where you landed. I think it really does take a consious effort to change our thinking. Their is a saying "whatever you think the body follows." I know first hand that this is true. So, enjoy your hills because life is a series of hills and valleys. I've been in the valley for much too long and would welcome a hill to stand on. You are going to survive. You always having -- since being a little kid. You are all going to be fine and you have everyone here at HW to help you through. Take care.