desperate need for help

Hello everyone, as you can read from the subject im really new here and seeking for some help or just to guide me what to do with my current situation, im going to be honest about everything and you could ask anything you want.. i am currently an exchange student and stayed a year in this country to do my exchange year classes and internship, so in this year a lot of things happened to me, learned new things, i had many good days and had many good moments and meeting new people etc, enjoyed a lot of times, but recently something changed i feel desperate and i feel super sensitive sometimes and sometimes take things personally and get mad quickly i know this aint good but i wasnt like that before.... i have a feeling that because my friends left and new group of people came to this place im staying, some i feel dont like me for some reason, also i have been doing things without thinking, stupid actions etc and sometimes feel lost, i really need help and im scared to tell anyone about this so i thought this forum is a good step, thinking to take some xnax but im not sure really... i have all those negative things in my mind all the time...... i need help id do anything for this :( i want to enjoy life again... and i have my thesis presentation in august but im always thinking negative about it, that i will do crap in it and crap, i know i should get rid of those negative things but i cant help it,, i have no idea....

first of all i want to thank you for taking your time and giving a reply, you really seem to be a kind person! well i play football and do some biking on and off! but i surely feel much better doing that... i like to travel too! but like you said sometimes i really take life too seriously and really need to change that, for what it triggered it i think its because someone from my homeland was with me here in the exchange year, at the begining of the exchange year we were ok and i was good with him until he in some point he stabbed me in the back by telling me really low things, like " why do you go with those other people, they are using you " , " you are still young " " i made lots of things you will never think of " etc i really didnt care at first... then when he was with a girl he really pissed me off with him trying to act like a macho man infront of her by disrespecting me, i left him and really didnt talk to him after that, i somehow remember that moment once a week or so, i usually stand up for myself really good but i thought hes my friend so i didnt want to attack/be offensive to him, but yea life is full of scum people, i really want to forget everything and feel good again, sometimes it sounds the stupidest thing in the world but even pills dont heal this.......... i really need more tips other than those usual things and now im like thinking of my other friends who know this guy, " they prolly know what happened and they think of me as a crap dude" etc :( i really dont know why i deserve this.. thank you agian

Hey Elusive!

I was thinking about ya-
Thanks for sharing, I understand your trigger now. I too can only imagine the pressure of being in another country trying to succeed. A universal truth though, I think, you cant please everyone so you have to please yourself. Worrying to the degree of great distress is so not necessary.
I cannot help but think this is an illusion that instills fear in us making it harder to overcome things..Like you said, there are a million self-seeking, egotistical and narcissistic people..Even if one was considered your "friend" Actions speak volumes! When I "LET GO" of concerning myself with what others may be thinking or doing and concentrated on the only thing i could control(Myself)..Wow how freeing! I am just saying, what comes to me is....Be true to you, and try not to let other peoples weirdness mess you up..Focus on "Elusives" purpose...PEACE!