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Stressing out now over stuff 20 years ago

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Posted 8/26/2013 7:44 PM (GMT -5)
I don't think I would normally stress about stupid and wrong behavior 20 years ago, but when I look in the News, and I see people getting called on the carpet for unwise things, bad mistakes they made decades ago, it periodically strikes me that despite keeping myself on track for 15 years, that one day, "they" will catch up to me.

Sookie

Posted 8/26/2013 10:08 PM (GMT -5)
Sookie, theres a statute of limitations on almost everything except murder, take a breath! Peace

Larry ***
Posted 8/26/2013 10:22 PM (GMT -5)
Unless you are going to run for a high profile, or sensitive/security type job, then I would not give it another thought.

We all make mistakes...some more than others, but I am sure that you've nothing to worry about.

The fact that you are the person that you are today, is what matters most...and those that know you (at least the ones that matter) will recognize this.

S.C.
Posted 8/28/2013 12:35 AM (GMT -5)
I did some pretty stupid things more recently than that! Illegal ones, too.

I spent soooo much time stressing about them. My job isn't nationally high profile, but it is locally. One day - IT HAPPENED! Someone called my boss and said "Joy used to blah, blah, blah"
He confronted me, and I was like, "Not anymore."

Guess what happened then? Not a thing!!!

What the others say is true, too. Things are going to be okay.

My counselor talks about the A,B,Cs of recovery. I can't remember them specifically right now (a little sleepy) but basically it's this: Consider the events, examine your beliefs about those events, and change your beliefs, therefor changing the outcome. In other words, instead of continuing to believe that something terrible is going to happen, try to help yourself realize that is very unlikely.
Posted 8/28/2013 10:53 AM (GMT -5)
I made the front page of the newspaper here for something I did, it was not even illegal or imoral. I was running for political office, and the paper had an agenda. I think it helped me more than hurt. Everyone makes mistakes or errors in judgement. I would not worry about it.
Ed
Posted 8/28/2013 2:26 PM (GMT -5)
I have brief periods of moments where I feel I can at least try to let go. I can rationalize, intellectually, that the behavior of "worrying" serves no purpose and if anything, is unhealthy and unproductive. I get all that. And no, I do not tend to do anything high profile. (Been there, done that, and am sooooo over that!) However, I am married to a rather high profile man, and my "concern" (even if it's twisted) is BECAUSE I (finally) filed for Disability, and yes, I dread they'll dredge stuff up from 20 years ago. It's the government, they can do anything!

I am very low profile. I am hoping to go through this process, come out the other side, I hope to get approved, and my anticipation is that I will be functional again. My psych nurse (who prescribes those meds,...saw her today) also made the same comment as my (ex)therapist, that I don't seem depressed or sad,...and what am I doing to get more stable, what are my thoughts about work, and I "seem" like I should be fit for work (my words don't penetrate, just that I'm a happy and perky gal most of the time, and often I am able to manage,...but it gives the air of my not facing a struggle).

My filing for Disability is due to physical limitations, nothing psychological, so I get their not being necessarily "supportive."

But back on topic, yeah, that was the trigger, when I stuck that envelope in the mail box after putting it off for the past few years,....WHAM! Panic, and sometimes consuming self talk.


Sookie
Posted 8/28/2013 3:53 PM (GMT -5)
I think that it is important to look at the probability of a worry, rather than the possibility!

Is it possible that the government could dredge something up on anyone of us? Okay...yes...but is it probable that they are going to scrutinize you for a disablility applications? Not at all! (they just don't have that kind of manpower)

So, I think that you can relax and put check this worry off of your list.;)

Also, in regards to your appointment today, you know your reasons for needing time off and disability, so don't worry about what anyone else thinks about it...this is about you getting better.

Best wishes,

S.C.
Posted 8/28/2013 4:05 PM (GMT -5)
The reason I "worry" about what those people think is that they are part of my health care practitioners, and Disability will be contacting them for their opinions regarding my claim. I've already got two providers who don't see how I could be "disabled." That information is going to be relayed.

I mean it's true information in that I am not depressed. But yes, it does concern me that my only two psych professionals cannot support or understand the validity of my filing a claim and have been, (in ways they, I assume, feel is being supportive), merely pointing out I seem fit for some type of work.

Anyone can appear okay if you only see them for 30-45 minutes (meaning I'm not sitting on ice packs or always wincing in pain). Granted, I'm needing the support regarding physical limitations. My hip surgeon sees me as a "hip" and doesn't take into account my back surgery 6 months prior and the neurological damage I'm working to rehab or the whole back/hip connection in things as basic as standing, walking, and sitting.

Hip surgeon sees a hip. I doubt I'll get his support either as he feels I should push through all of this. It makes it worse when your health care team doesn't support or understand the WHOLE picture.

I essentially "need" them on my side....



Sookie
Posted 8/28/2013 4:18 PM (GMT -5)
Okay, I see why now...it is a whole picture type of situation.

I wish you the best...I guess you will just have to file it and see what response you get?

Let us know how it turns out, and until then, I wish you much healing and days without discomfort!

S.C.
Posted 8/28/2013 5:10 PM (GMT -5)
Sookie, you need a health care advocate, my youngest Daughter had to find one when She filed for
disability, She has crippling arthritis, sometime they are associated with home health care. Peace

Larry ***
Posted 8/28/2013 7:45 PM (GMT -5)
I'm going through an agency that specializes in Disability. I know I could file on my own and not have to pay them their fee (which they only get if I'm approved) but I've procrastinated for years even filing.

Then there's getting my doctors' support, and so far, my psych, my therapist, and hip surgeon don't see it or get it. It doesn't fill me with confidence.


Sookie
Posted 8/28/2013 11:42 PM (GMT -5)
Sookie, it's not about Them! Prayers for You! Peace

Larry ***
Posted 8/28/2013 11:53 PM (GMT -5)
Sookie,

Generally, it's your primary care doc they look to for information first. They want to talk to the person who has been treating you the longest and has a thorough knowledge of your conditions. They're not really interested in "short term" practitioners or those not related to the *meat* of your claim. Since you're filing for physical reasons, the psych probably won't even be contacted.

Plus, while they take what your doc says into consideration, it's the medical review board team that actually makes the final disability determination, and all they know are the basic medical facts. So I wouldn't worry too much. Even if you get denied the first time, don't worry. Many many people get denied the first time, and then go on to refile and win.
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