Tell us your story (If your happy to do so)

Hi All.

I hope you are all having a good week?.

I have noticed that we have had a lot of new members recently so thought it would be a good idea if we shared our stories as it helps to know a little about someone so that better support can be offered. This is by no means a must so only share if you are happy to do so, I don't mind going first so see below.

I have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember but did not get a diagnosis until I was in my 30's as I was always ashamed of how I was feeling and did not want to tell anyone so became very good at hiding it and putting on a front that everything was ok.

I have always struggled in social situations so was very shy as a kid and had trouble making close friends so can remember feeling lonely even as a kid and had a feeling that I did not fit in with my peers. I can remember having complete melt downs when I was a kid and looking back now I can see it was due to high anxiety and I also had learning difficulties which made school hard and I never wanted to go.

Fast forward to being a teenager I started to suffer with depression as a result of always feeling anxious and found out later that the two run side by side and one affects the other. I was still having the same social problems and looking back was not happy. I had my first alcoholic drink at the age of 16 and it was a revelation as in my head it completely cured my anxiety I could have some drinks and feel a completely different person no anxiety and more confident and social so started self medicating and by the time I hit 18 I was drinking heavily and was bad for binge drinking. At this time I felt I was having a great time but looking back I was only making my problems worse. Alcohol lead to drugs and from the age of 18 to 27 is a bit of a blur if I'm honest and got myself into all sorts of problems and ended up in a really bad way.

In my late 20's I was suffering with really bad anxiety which was making me feel really paranoid and I was also really depressed. When I turned 30 I went down with Reactive Arthritis and became really ill and on one of my visits to the doctor they asked me how I was feeling mentally which was the first time anyone had asked me and it was the first time I was truthful with myself and said I was struggling. My doctor referred me to the mental health team and that is when I got my first diagnosis of GAD and depression and was put onto medication and also asked to do some talking therapy called Cognitive Analytical Therapy which was a 25 week one on one therapy. I found this really good and made big improvements during therapy. During this period I was also diagnosed with Social Anxiety and OCD.

When I finished the CAT I was in a good place and things were going well unfortunately this did not last. I had disclosed my diagnosis with my employer as I felt it was right to do so and also felt they would be supportive as I had a good relationship with them but how wrong was I. I realised as soon as I had told them that it was the wrong decision and they saw it as a problem my managers then spent the next year and a half managing me out of my job and in 2011 I was dismissed on medical grounds and have not worked since.

Over the last few years I have had good and bad periods and have done further therapy (CBT, Mindfulness & Schema Therapy) and have gone through various medication changes over the years. During one of these therapies the clinical phycologist thought I should be diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome which I decided to pursue and was officially diagnosed with AS when I was 35 which did come as a surprise but every thing did slot in to place and is the underlying factor in my other diagnosis.

I am currently doing well at the start of this year I moved into my own place I still suffer with anxiety and related conditions but have a great set of tools to help me manage my symptoms better and do daily Mindfulness Meditation which I find really helpful. I am starting to think about getting back into employment and that is my next target but it may take some time.

Anyway that's my story.


Hibee

Thank you both for sharing.

My name is Cheri and I am 30 years old. I have a 10 & 11 year old (boys) and am happily married. I also have health anxiety.

I was always very care free as a teen/young adult. When my son was 4, he became very sick. We took him to multiple doctors and they didn't know what was wrong. After a few days, and thousands of searches on Google, we read about something called Kawasaki disease. We brought him to a hospital and they confirmed Kawasaki. He was transported in an ambulance to Texas children's hospital and spent the next 2 weeks being treated. We were told he could have died if we waited a few more days.

He is now 11 years old and doing well. I have experienced great anxiety over possible complications of this illness he had. It can damage the heart and so much is unknown about the aftermath. It scares me.

I have become obsessed with making sure he is well. I felt like Google "saved" him and that I must research everything I can about every illness my kids (and myself) get. Because deep down I feel like I will be able to be proactive and protect us from developing something awful. I feel like if I'm on guard we will catch something early if anything ever is wrong.

I've been doing really well (thanks to something Larry wrote to another poster a few weeks ago). I know that my anxiety can come back..but I have been doing much better.

Thank you for sharing Hibee, H.T. and Cheri.

I want to all to know how brave I think you are, and the respect I have for you.

I admire your commitment to stand in the face of fear and not be broken...

...but rather to fight for your recovery and emerge stronger.

I will share my story when I can. This is my busiest season now with my Spring Recital coming up next week!! (5/7)

Hugs and high fives!

S.C.

Hi all,



Moving as a young child to Canada I remember throwing up when I landed into a new country. I felt to scared and sick to my stomach arriving to a new country where I didn't know the language and had nobody else buy my mother, sister and brother.



I began school being poor bc my parents were immigrants working low income jobs. I was made fun of at school for not knowing the language and not having HIP clothing. I remember waking up every day and dreading school.



I would somewhat enjoy the summers off, but I clearly remember looking at the kids in the playground and wondering why on earth are they so happy. I would wake up sick to my stomach every morning and would dread each day. Feeling the emptiness at such a young age was awful.



As a teenager I did great in school, straight A's but would get nervous talking and meeting new people. I then discovered boys as I was relatively attractive and stopped caring about school and would feel depressed and lost. Just lost.



In my early 20s I watched my poor older sister develop schizophrenia where she started displaying psychosis and erratic behaviour. I felt to sad for her but ashamed at the same time , as people have this stigma.



At age 23 I found love for the first time and remember feeling bliss and I even cried to him telling him Ive never felt so happy in my entire life. We got engaged. A few months after he broke off the engagement and I was so so sad.

I couldn't sleep nor eat. I didn't know it then by my anxiety and depression had come full blown after being ignored all these years. I didn't know what was happening to me. I ended up in the ER where a Dr finally diagnosed me w anxiety and depression. By this point I was bed ridden and didn't sleep for a good month!!! I experience my first panic attack which led to the ER.



Ive been seeing a psychiatrist then, gotten much closer to my sister and developed a huge respect for her also.

I got on medication, went back to school and finished University. I now have a great job at a bank and love it.



Still struggling with this illness though! I know how medication can give you a life. I discovered I was an amazing human being with self confidence and people like me!

the struggle is real, and not a weakness but a rare form of strength!

HUGS AND SUPPORT

CLaudia

Hi, my name is Claudia. I'm 44 yo. I think I have always suffered from anxiety but it seems get worst as I get older.

I never did all the things teens did, I was shy and very close to my mom.

The first time I heard about anxiety I was probably 30. I was taking a class and I started to feel weird. My arms got numb and my chest hurt and I could not breath. I left the class and tried to make it to my car but a lady noticed and called 911. They got me inside the ambulance and took all my vitals, etc... and the paramedic said: "you are not having a heart attack or a stroke... you are fine.. have you heard of panic attacks???"
That was the first time i have ever heard about that. I did not pay much attention to that and continued living as nothing happened.

After a few years when I was about 34-35, I started having them very often. I have been at the doctor so many times with EKGs done, blood work.. and they tell me I am okay. I also saw a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with GAD and panic disorder.

I try to go day by day, but it is a daily challenge and I believe it is like this for most of us. Most people do not really understand it and that is frustrating. Just have to keep trying and hope for the best. Thanks for listening.

Hello, Inci here! 40 yrs old female, married. I don't have kids, but I do have a cat!

As a child I had no issues of getting new friends and I was doing fine as a part of the society. Was never shy, I could always say and do whatever I want, whenever/wherever I want to.
I had no issues with my family either. Everything seemed to be sparkling, on the surface... But actually I was so insecure of how I looked and I was afraid to lose my friends. It never effected how I treated people in general though. I was always nice to others.

I am, and was, always a type of person who could take radical decisions in the blink of an eye and I lived with my very own strict rules in life. I am your typical "it's either Black or White" type of person. Though I still say that I have super benefits of this behavior in life.

Fast forward, at 2001 I had my first marriage which made me experience extreme psychological abuse and all this s**t which comes with it. Because of the trauma I think, all of the things I kept inside started bursting outside as disorders. Panic disorder and Hypochondriasis (the latter I had tendencies since I was a kid). I gained 88 lbs over the 4 years before I decided to divorce. My problems surfaced two years after my divorce.

Now I am married to a very nice person. Though we have a crisis since both of us don't feel very good.
I am currently getting a therapy by a psychiatrist. I thought that I was a very strong fighter but she thinks that I run away from things in life.

Of course I do. Who wouldn't? :)

Good day to you all.