It's been a while, things are happening

Hello my HW family, it's been very long time. Sorry for being away for a long time

aaannd, here comes the long text <3

Well I have quite a bit on my plate and I am starting to have severe anxiety and panic symptoms again (well I hope I am right with that being anxiety only, lol) so will probably be starting meds again soon same elixir, Sertraline 50 mg but maybe 100 mg increased later. My psychiatrist wanted me to start Cymbalta (duloxetine) but I am really not comfortable with a medication known to have super side effects, I told her I will go with good old Sertraline. She wasn't so happy to hear that xD

I am dealing with depression and my health anxiety at the same time and I am trying to support my husband who was diagnosed with Anorexia and depression (who will be staying in hospital for a while soon to recover, if it works) meanwhile I will travel to visit my family and feeling sooo guilty because I am leaving my hubby to endure the hospital stay all alone.
But he wants me to travel to my homeland because I am not feeling too good either. I feel so drained and depressed, stressed and my body is reacting very bad this time. Things are so depressing, and our problems are not helping with our relationship. I can't be a good support as I struggle with my own issues and HA. I would love to run away and pretend like starting a new life, as I always do. But this time I promised myself to stay and fight, so no turning back. He is worth it. He is a fantastic person.
Lately he has been mentioning maybe he needs a little space so he can relax and focus on recovery. Because I get panicked easily and he has to deal with my health anxiety at the same time his regular food related anxiety.

Sooo, leaving him be or staying near and give him more anxiety? Is a bit tricky situation.
But maybe he is right, maybe we have to deal with our problems alone for a while. I may be unintentionally suffocate him with my anxiety, and thinking that I am supporting but actually not...

Still I can't help but thinking what if something bad happens to him when I am away and if I feel guilty afterwards. Of course he will be under control in a hospital and probably much more safer than home.
But still... I wonder...

By the way, the things my psychiatrist and I noticed during my therapy seem like unrelated to health anxiety but actually very interesting to know that HA is caused by all types of emotions and even can be caused by a previous codependency issue. So it's not really about fear of illness.
I recommend you all who suffer from HA to have good old psychotherapy. Digging for treasure, but be warned, the things you find deep in your traumas may not make you happy

Anyways, also worried about my neck+shoulder pain and ear fullness/tinnitus so I will be visiting a specialist soon to know what's going on in there. I hope it's not caused by something bad.
Also visiting dentist about a long time bleeding gum under my old crown bridge, which gives me more anxiety.
My sci-fi creative mind is coming up with strange combinations to make me more worried. Like, the simple gum bleeding turned into a space alien and taking over my face... oh boy.

Sorry for the depressive post, would love to be a support as usual but yeah... I think I will be asking for your positive thoughts and support this time <3

Love you all

My dear friend,

I am so sorry to hear of the hard time you and hubs are going through now! 😯

I am sending my immediate prayers and most positive thoughts for both of you!

While it is hard to be struggling at the same time, and to be apart...

...it does sound like you are both doing the best you can for your individual challenges and recovery needs...

...and your relationship with be closer than ever, once you are both feeling better and working your programs with strength again.

Let us support you through this time, as we have missed you...and always appreciate your input here for our community!

Please let us know how we can help...and post as often as you need to.

We are your encouragement and cheering section.

Talk soon,

S.C.

Hi

Welcome back good to hear from you.

Sorry to hear you have had a return of your anxiety and also sorry to hear of your husbands struggles but it sounds like you are both doing all you can to make things better so do continue with those.

I have taken Cymbalta and did do well on it and did not have many side effects so it may be worth considering.

Keep us posted we are here for you.

Hibee

Rrakkma,

Firstly, I commend your husband for getting the help he needs to overcome his illness. I know how difficult it can be to admit, especially for men, that they need help. I agree with SC that once you can both tackle your individual needs, things will miraculously come together for you as a couple. You can still be there, and be supportive and be a doting wife, while taking care of yourself...

We are always here for you, and it's so good to hear from you!